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20 November 2014 @ 11:49 pm
Soul mate  
Time is ticking. It makes me saD. But it's okay. My heart won't break but it will probably ache when he leaves. He is so seemingly perfect. We are similar in what seems like a lot of ways. So why now? Why now that I meet a great guy? A guy who will carry me over puddles. Who will blow on my cold hands. Who will walk me to my car 20 mins away in the cold.

He makes me smile. He makes me happy. Though I can feel my untrusting heart doubting him quite a bit. And I dobt fret at those feeling I just work my way through it. I'm changing because of him or I'm awaking or understanding myself due to him.

We aren't named. We are together and yet not declared a couple. We've held hands and layed together naked after sex. We know the day is coming that we won't see each other. And this is what is key. Pushing this month as far as it can go. It might hurt in the end but it's okay.

When I look out at guys now I've got more confidence. I also feel like this isn't the end. That there are more people out there that fit me. But the worry I won't find another is always something I'll have to push aside. Ray is so seemingly perfect but our lives are not staying crossed for long right now. There is always the future. If we get through with in one piece. Is this what a soul mate is? They say it soulmates sometimes are an existence that comes into your life just to push you. Meant to challenge and give you what you need. A perfect fit for your soul. Not a duplicate of you.

Why?
~death comes fast~