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02 January 2016 @ 05:54 pm
Welcome to the new year!  
Out with the old. In with the new.

My New Years resolution is to work hard towards my career. I want to become knowledgable. I want to gain experience and get hired by next year hopefully.

My problem is managing this desire to do more with lack of motivation. How do I start? What am I supposed to do?

One of my problem habits I need to fix this year is getting up in the morning. I know that I am really starting to hate my job and not care. I can't get up in the morning because of it. I need to find a reason to wake up. I need to find a way around hating my job and not wanting to be there.

Now I didn't mean to write when I was unhappy but it occurred that way.

I can't figure what's bugging me right now.

In another note let me talk about jay. Me and jay were close two years ago in Tera. He really helped me to break out away from Jon and see that I should be treated better. Without him I'm sure things wouldn't have gone the same. I love playing with him. He had so much energy and talent. I was pretty drawn to him. But my heart was also under torment. We had a fight and I couldn't take the added stress of our gaming relationship in arenas and so we stopped talking. Two years later we have met in another game. The chances are astonishing.

But I feel like this topic deserves its own entry.

He wants to date and I'm so unsure. I had that instant attraction to Ray and I don't know if I have that to Jay. Thats something I'm scared of.

What do I want right now?
Why am I feeling a bit down?

Let me say: good bye to 2015.
The year I fought for my degree. The year I was so lost. The last year I worked at the college. The year i struggled to apply for jobs without a clue. The last year in New York.

~Death Comes Fast~